Tuesday, October 21, 2014

midterm

This evening
The mother
She asked me:
           “Should I hit him back?”
With regard to her son
Now
           It was a sincere question
           Asked through no small amount of tears
And such was the context
I didn’t for a second think she was joking

My response:
“It doesn’t look good.”

In that ironic way I have
           Which I’m still hoping
                     has its way of conveying more
           than anything I could say less dry

Just WHO would be learning WHAT from THAT?
which is what I did eventually say
don’t worry

But the distance
           and resolution

between the usual baseline of self-doubt and inadequacy
          which I pray to G-d never goes away
when I sat down with her
knowing intuitively what she was going to want to know
          what we all always want to know
          in that moment
          when we suck at something so epically bad

And the Tennyson Center that then kicks in

There must be consequences
There must be opportunity for him to make repair
There must be a safety plan
             (Hope that it won’t happen again
             Figure that it will)

But there cannot be hands laid on him lest the county hear from me

That conversation is up to her now
But make certain that it ends somewhere in the ballpark of
           “You are mine
            And I love you”

The midterms I’m taking this week
           mean something
           This I know


           It’s good to know