Surface

COLD
    And my hand lunged out
    reaching for a surface to grab
My head emerged quickly once it did
The air forced its way back into my lungs with a quite violent gasp
    My heart suddenly aware, as if not before, of its relationship to adrenaline

Winter day Y2K and 1
I was daring the ice to support me
(I was daring everyone and everything to do so)
    when the footing gave way beneath

    Was I...
☒    suicidal?
☒    bored?
☒    having faith enough to believe I could walk on water?
☑    age twenty-one?

My eyes beheld the surface about
It was the same as a moment before when I dropped
But I was not

    and so it looked a little different

I do not advocate such a radical communion with the elements as this
    for anyone else
    This was my foolishness (the understated kind) to bear
Nor do I deny what almost happened
    and what did happen

I went out to the dock really just seeking a reed shaking in the breeze
I came out with an instant baptism-resurrection cocktail

I crawled off the dock
I returned to the earth
Gradually relearning breath and footsteps, all the way to the hot shower several yards in the distance
    myself and the ground I was to walk thereafter with a new understanding