Thursday, April 20, 2017

singularity

You’re as quick as they come
and pretty much always have been
I think I can remember back to the summer that you truly honed it
You went from being the morbidly anxious little girl
shocked and scandalized by every little one of our references to sex
(do you recall hiding behind the office door that one time? Because you totally did.)
To the young woman
that owned everyone of us

And I recall our resident prophet’s forecast
That the youngest and shyest of us
Should one day transform into a singularity
In the presence of which we would all melt
When we weren’t melting
We were being scorched to ash
And if I wasn’t being scorched to ash
I wept with the pride of getting to be in your orbit

Now don’t think that I would ever see you in any other way
No matter how filled out
No matter how
what others might describe as
worn down
by the expectations of your sorority
that otherwise stirred within you open rebellion
For all of the loathsome glare we gave you at your sister’s wedding reception
when you left our lunch table, panicked, to join in the mandated celebratory circle
Whatever the fuck that was

Never think that I ever
ever
felt that you caved
I did not
I knew you to be acting in accord
with the dictates
of love
for your sister
for your mom
for her mom
All of which need to matter
All of whom did as well by you as they knew how
All of which needs to mean something
As well as they knew how, with what they themselves were given
And I cannot deem otherwise
SO LONG AS
it means something
Don’t think I don’t get that
It’s not easy but
My mother raised me to get that
I suspect you will raise your son to do the same

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