So it went off
And it was not thunder
It was not a gasline explosion as my father imagined
Looking up suddenly from whatever I'm sure he was reading
as he waited for his work truck to be serviced
I was trying to be a high school sophomore in 2nd hour English
And my mother was at work and not getting a replacement Social Security card
We knew with certainty this is not what she did.
Everyone knows where they were that morning
and where they weren't
with the certainty that they know on mercifully rare occasions
And, no, it was not 9/11 to the 'world'
It was 4/19 to the 4-0-5
It wasn't thunder
but it rained that night and for many nights therafter
I think
My memory might betray slightly
17 years on
My mother worked some late nights
called in as many state health workers were that week
My father had no voyeuristic wish
to see a "graveyard"
as indeed I did
But nor did he oppose me being taken to see
for I hadn't yet known death on such a scale
I attempted to give blood for the first time
But many hundred already of age had already beaten me to it
Walmarts were brimming
Not enough donated supplies boxes could be kept out
Firsthand, I can say that many white suburban teenagers have not approached anger
or shock
or displacement
in quite that way before or since
And I won't forget the immediate iconography
as the roaming spotlight briefly revealed
the irreparably wounded structure
left barely standing, and not for much longer
but permanently bearing
and forever reflecting
some brokenness
some void
as to what, you may fill in your own blank
It's always 11/22 in Dealey Plaza
(I wasn't even alive at the time
And I know that)
It's always 4/19 from 5th to 6th on Harvey Ave.
Been there. Powerful.
ReplyDeleteWas there. That night. Yes, it rained and the tornado sirens wailed as I stood outside on 5th Street. Yes, outside in the rain. NOTHING was going to keep me from ministering...
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